What I Wish I’d Known Before My First Riding Lesson as an Adult

I rode a little as a child, but always on the lunge, going round and round in circles. I got so fed up that I told my mom I wanted quit and she let me. Decades later, my daughter started riding, and I found myself spending more and more time at the stable. I loved being around the horses so much that riding started to feel like the obvious next step. So here I am: a grown-up beginner, learning one lesson at a time.

These are the things I wish someone had told me before I got back in the saddle.

1. It’s normal to feel nervous

For me, nerves sounded like one question on repeat: what if the horse bolts? That fear made me feel physically unstable in the saddle, as if my body was bracing for something that never came.

What helped most was simply telling my instructor. Once she knew I was nervous, she adjusted the lesson to where I was emotionally, not just where I was technically. If you’re anxious, say so. A good instructor will work with it, not against it.

2. Your body will be sore in surprising places

I expected to ache in my hips and pelvis. Instead, it’s my lower back that complains after almost every lesson, usually for three or four days. More stretching and some strength training would probably help. I’m not doing either right now, but I’m telling you so you can be wiser than me.

3. You don’t need expensive gear to start

Safety first, style second. You don’t need a full riding wardrobe, but a few things really matter:

• A riding helmet that fits properly. This is non-negotiable. Have it fitted in a shop if you can.
• Proper riding boots. You need a sole with a small heel that won’t let your foot slide through the stirrup.
• Fitted trousers. They give you more comfort and grip in the saddle. They don’t have to be riding breeches from day one. They can be leggings you normally wear for sports.

Safety standards for riding gear differ between countries and change over time, so check with your national equestrian federation or your riding school before you buy.

4. Progress is slow, and that’s fine

At one point I felt completely stuck. My goal is to join the adult group lessons, and I was sure I’d be ready by now. I wasn’t, and I felt a bit hopeless about it.

Then, during a lesson I’d started feeling quite low, I suddenly noticed something: my feet no longer slid around in the stirrups at the trot. That was exactly what I’d struggled with in the beginning. Progress had been happening all along; I just hadn’t been paying attention to it. Look for those small wins. They count.

5. Ask your instructor everything

One question I always ask is about the horse itself: its background and its temperament. If you’re going to carry me on your back, I want to know who you are. Understanding a horse’s character makes me calmer, more patient, and a better partner in the arena.

6. Learning at the same stable as your child

My daughter takes more lessons than I do, learns faster, and is simply a much better rider. And honestly, I love it. Our usual parent-child roles get turned upside down: she gives me riding tips and points out what I could do better. At the same time, I’m sometimes more confident on the ground, simply because I’m taller, and I can lift a heavy saddle onto a pony far more easily than she can.

At the stable, we’re truly a team.

Is your child just starting out too? Here’s what your child really needs for their first riding lesson, and what you can safely skip.

7. Give yourself some grace

As an adult, it can feel really vulnerable to be a beginner again, at anything. Suddenly you’re fumbling and stumbling, and you don’t look like you have things under control. Riding might be extra daunting, because there are nine-year-olds on the sidelines who ride far better than you.

But I think that’s also the beauty of it. You get to try something new, be bad at it for a while, and slowly get better. Allow yourself that. Give yourself some grace.

If this sounds familiar and you’d like more tips for grown-up beginners, come and follow along on Pinterest.